a change in the making.

Posted: 01.25.1212 | Author: | Filed under: Deep Thoughts | Tags: | Leave a comment »

“There’s a better version of me
That I can’t quite see
But things are gonna change
Right now I’m a total mess and
Right now I’m completely incomplete
But things are gonna change
‘Cause you’re not through with me yet

This is redemption’s story
With every step that I am taking
Every day, you’re chipping away
What I don’t need
This is me under construction
This is my pride being broken
And every day I’m closer to who I’m meant to be
I am a change in the making.”

– “Change In The Making” by Addison Road

 

English novelist, Arnold Bennett once said, “Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.”

As I currently stand amidst the winds of change, I am floored at how true these words are.  I’ve always been one to embrace change with open arms.  My ADHD ways have come to crave it on a regular basis.  However, I wouldn’t classify my current changes as comfortable or even wanted.  They are uncomfortable.  Yet, I must realize that change is incredibly consistent in all of our lives.  I can embrace it and make the best of it, or attempt to ineffectively fight it.  I don’t exactly have any interest in wasting my energy.

While reflecting on the changes in my current situation, I find myself reflecting on change needed in my life as well.  There is a need to focus on becoming a better me.  Something that has been placed on the back burner for quite some time now.   I’m so confused as to why this behavior seems to be a pattern amongst many.  Why do we insist on depriving ourselves of the things that will create a more positive living environment for us and those around us?

I am thankful for a God that works in me and through me.  That is faithful to pour out His blessings despite my own inconsistencies.  As I look around me, I am baffled at how so many speak of their own Christianity yet show no markers of transformation in their lives and no contrast from the world.

Maybe it needs to said.  You cannot meet the Creator of the universe and remain the same.  If the God who is all-powerful, all-knowing and all-present comes to dwell within your soul, you would expect at least a minor disruption.  I think there is a problem when people talk about “meeting God” or “knowing God” and yet remain unchanged by God.

We must live daily with a desire to be on the potter’s wheel.  To be molded and crafted into the person we should be.  Although the time on the wheel is often uncomfortable, the finished product will be one of great beauty.

 

running.

Posted: 01.19.1212 | Author: | Filed under: Deep Thoughts | 2 Comments »

“I hear the voice,
It’s the voice of the One I love.
He’s calling my name.
I hear the voice,
It’s the voice of the One I love.
He’s calling my name.
Saying, ‘Come up higher,
And hear the angels sing.
Come up higher, my beloved.
Come up higher and leave this world behind.
You’ll find it to be beautiful.’

I am running
Running after you.
You’ve become my soul’s delight.
I am running
Running after you.
Here with you I find my life.”

Things have changed.

Not that I haven’t lived my life to follow after God….I just feel a call to something deeper. Not just to fall in line and follow somewhere off in the crowd.

I want to know Him. A mediocre walk will not suit me. A typical relationship is not what I want. I am not satisfied with mere lip-service. I am not “all talk.” At least I have no desire to be.

Oddly enough it seems that so often we claim to have a relationship with God. We claim to be followers of Christ, only to suddenly find ourselves standing alone……simply because we stopped walking. I don’t think it’s because we necessarily intended to stop, we just got caught up in “now” and forgot to keep our eyes on what is to come. You cease to follow someone when you’re no longer moving. Stagnant water has no movement.

I have resolved within myself to run. Run with all that is within me.

Runners often strip themselves of any unnecessary weights so that they may run unencumbered. We are runners. The question is, are we running unencumbered? It does not necessarily have to be sin that is holding us back. If it is not, we could be weighted by culture…by tradition. Could it be unresolved issues in my heart such as anger, fear, insecurity, or jealousy? Such things can often hold us back from greatness in God.

What is holding you back?

I cannot be comfortable in simply running after God’s blessings without ever running after God. I desire to know not only God’s works, but God’s ways. I want to know where He lives, so to speak. It is not enough to simply know about God. I want to know Him. It’s not just a casual request, it is a hunger.

….to know and follow hard after thee, O God!

“Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection….” 1 Corinthians 9:26-27

resolve.

Posted: 01.02.1212 | Author: | Filed under: Deep Thoughts | Tags: , | 1 Comment »

 

“Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.” - Benjamin Franklin


January 1st.


Just yesterday, hundreds of thousands of people proclaimed their annual new year’s resolutions. Some stood determined to lose that extra weight. The double-chin. The flabby arms. The love handles.


Others vowed to hit the gym every day and to stay in shape. Visions of treadmills and stationary bicycles danced in their heads.


Some just desired to be more organized. Tired of being affectionately known as the family “pack rat.”


Yesterday. 24 hours.


Unfortunately, the majority of these potentially life-changing resolutions will be but a memory to some next week. Making a new year’s resolution became nothing more than a tradition. Something expected of us, but inconsequential if broken.


Paul wrote in Romans 7:15: “…for what I would, that I do not; but what I hate, that I do.” (KJV)
I like the way The Message words it by saying, ” What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.”


So many times I have heard others reference this passage, not necessarily to make sin exusable, but to defend their weakness or maybe lighten their responsibility to lead an overcoming life.


If they would simply continue in their reading to Chapter 8, they would find in verse 9 that we “are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you.”


One cannot simply cling to the fleshly weakness of Chapter 7 and claim to be of the Spirit described in Chapter 8.


Society has made it so excusable to be wishy-washy. “Promises are made to be broken…” or at least that’s what we’re told. It’s perfectly acceptable to be as vague as possible so as not to ruffle anyone’s feathers. We have to be politically correct, you know. (sarcasm intended.)


Joshua 24:15 says, “Choose you this day whom ye will serve.”


Jesus said in Luke 16:13, “No [one] can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”


Who or what are you serving? What direction are you headed?


What have you resolved to do?


This is not a time for cowards. Nor is it a time for fence riders.
We must resolve to do that which is good and right, and then do it.


Resolve to have resolve.

loves.

Posted: 10.04.1111 | Author: | Filed under: Just Me | Tags: | Leave a comment »
My fellow blogger posted a feel-good blog about her loves.
Sounds like fun.
Below are several random things that have my heart currently. I have many loves. I love…love. The things a person loves can say a lot about them & their character. So sit back and learn about me.
I love…..
♥music. (playing, singing, listening….music=love.)
♥big red. (too bad it can’t be found too many places in California.)
♥my iphone.
♥laughing until I can’t breathe.
♥TEXAS. (my home state…makes me feel all warm & fuzzy inside.)
♥windows down-music up!♥a good cup of coffee in the morning.

♥dates with the mister.

♥great customer service.
♥christmas lights.♥being caught up on laundry.

♥crossword puzzles. (yes…I’m a word nerd.)
♥university of texas. (hook ‘em horns!)
♥big trucks.♥having a husband who can cook….and well!

♥girls’ nights.  (thank you Alisha & Emily.)♥coming home to a clean house.

♥making people laugh.

♥scented candles.

♥dogs.
♥getting REAL mail. (bills and junk don’t count.)
♥fishing. (I haven’t been once since moving to California. So sad.)
♥softball. (Been playing since I was childhood. It’s my sport.)
♥sand pit volleyball. (a summer must.)
♥amazing friends.
♥sundays.
♥the silence you get when you drive under the bridge during the rain.
♥going to the ranch to relax. (I miss home.)
♥road trips.
♥the pride of being a texan.
♥the pool. (hanging out at mom’s in the pool. relaxation win!)
♥ORGANIZATION! (yes, yes….ocd.)
♥dancing in the car.
♥thrift stores.
♥sonic’s route 44 diet cherry cokes & orange vanilla sprites!
♥SWEET TEA!
♥los amigos in bonham, texas.♥discovering new music before anyone else & recommending it.

♥nertz. (my very favorite card game.)
♥the smell of hay and sweet feed. (country girl, remember?)
♥rootin’ on my favorite teams (Longhorns, Mavs, Cowboys, Rangers, Stars).
♥the smell of fresh cut grass.
♥sunshine.
♥jamba juice. (california did it to me.)♥good live music. (anytime. anywhere.  it’s always gives goosebumps.)

♥pinkberry. (mmm…goodness in a cup, err…bucket.)
♥the sound a snowball makes when it hits a windshield. (hee hee)
♥being the “different” one by just being me.
….just to name a few. ;)  What are some of your loves?

things to come.

Posted: 10.04.1111 | Author: | Filed under: Just Me | Leave a comment »
Do remember Christmas Eve nights as a kid?  I know that I remember being so excited to the point of complete insomnia…
Well, I’m at that point now and it’s not even Christmas.
I must admit that joyous excitement and energetic squeals are not quite a rarity in my day-to-day routine.  ADHD plays a big part in that. ;)
Still I continue to be extremely excited about what is to come.
Truth is, I have no clue what’s coming. That’s the funny thing.  I just see things through faith and know that amazing things are in store.
Of course, most people know that our relocation to California over three years ago was quite the adventure.  We were definitely led here.  It seems like things are finally falling into place after three years of complete trust in God.
A lot of this sudden burst of excitement can be attributed to this past weekend at our Ladies Advance Conference.  Wow.  I can’t begin to describe the feeling of anticipation.  I know God is going to do awesome things…

Stay tuned….

convos with the mister.

Posted: 08.04.1111 | Author: | Filed under: Humor, Marriage | Leave a comment »
If you don’t follow me on twitter (cough, cough)…then you pretty much miss the random conversations between the mister and I.  You know he has to be a pretty interesting guy in order to function well along with my ADHD & OCD.  It’s a necessity.

 

 

I was shuffling through my twitter account and came across these nuggets.  I thought I would give my readers some insight on our relationship. hehe.

 

♥Should the mister be allowed to tell me to “go drown in a lake” and call me a “queen” in the same breath?
♥No Jeremy,  I will NOT ride in the back of the truck. Even if it DOES have a camper…
♥So glad the mister is being a fantastic man and sweeping my kitchen floor. Even if he IS singing “Who Let the Dogs Out” while doing it….
♥The mister calls me “Lucille-ifer.” I should be offended, but it’s too funny.
♥I’m discussing with the mister how my naturally curly hair is getting more and more unruly. He says, “that’s because it’s turning white.” Grrr.
♥Him: “It’s harder to eat rice with pork chops.” Me: “You mean chopsticks?”
♥Him: What’s the highest score in bowling? Because that’s what I bowl.
♥Me: Wow. That girl’s stomach is hangin’ out her shirt. Him: It looks like a water balloon.
♥The mister just told me to go stand in the road, close my eyes & count to 100. I think the anniversary is over.
♥So I tell the mister that I’m bored. He says, “See if you can fit in the fireplace.” Gotta love him.
♥”Speaking of court, the new Taco Bell is open.” – the mister (aka Random Man)
♥The mister’s random drawing on our trip to Famous Dave’s:: http://twitpic.com/gwf8f

 

As I read back over these little moments, I smile.  How blessed am I to have such an entertaining marriage? I’m hoping that you other couples out there have these same kind of moments.  Moments when it’s just the two of you acting crazy, when all of a sudden you stop and say, “It’s a good thing no one sees us acting like this.”

Those are my favorites. :)

i left my heart.

Posted: 07.29.1111 | Author: | Filed under: Food, Friends, San Francisco | 1 Comment »

Is it possible to be addicted to a city?

If so, San Francisco is my drug of choice.

Growing up in small town Texas, surrounded by acres of farmland & night skies larger than life, I thought I would never enjoy such a high-energy metropolis.  My belief was that I could never love “the city” as much as I did the complete calm and relaxation of the country.

I was wrong.

In all honesty, my first visit to San Francisco was a bit overwhelming.  The mister, in his trademarked southern drawl, said, “Let’s just drive around and check it out.”

Of course, anyone who has ever driven there knows that it’s not that easy.  Especially when you’re not from some other booming U.S. city.  But, off we went.

As we drove down the Embarcadero, I felt the excitement of seeing the bay and the hustle & bustle on the pier.  Traffic was a little more than what we were used to, but that was expected.  It was as he turned and traveled away from the bay, that I realized how close everything looked.   Not just close, but CLOSE.  Cars zipping by.  Pedestrians walking out in the street.  Buildings towering over us so that I could see the top from our car.

Yes, things were VERY close.

Disclaimer:  I think I trust the mister’s driving.  However, I do not trust it enough to hide my fear of his habitual slamming of the brakes & ability to be easily distracted.

The fear I mentioned above was amplified multiple times due to the factors surrounding us.  I believe this was the moment I might have freaked out a little.  Looking back, I’m sure that my reaction to our current situation could have in no way improved the mister’s driving skills.  On the contrary, I’m sure it made him a nervous wreck right along with me.

So, here we are: Two little podunk Southerners from Northeast Texas, trying to drive our happy little selves through the second-most densely populated large city in the United States.  All the while, I am realizing that I might be just a wee bit claustrophobic.  Get the picture?

Poor mister.

Since then, I have thankfully grown accustom to San Francisco.  More than that, I actually love it there.  I am closer than ever to understanding why Tony Bennett belted out, “I left my heart in San Francisco.”

I’m past the tourism phase & now have my favorite haunts.  Last weekend, I visited some of my favorite places with some of my favorite people.  I recommend that anyone spending any amount of time there, stop by.  Our day included lunch at Steps of Rome in Little Italy, the divine chocolate macaroons of awesomeness at Eastern Bakery in Chinatown & shopping on Powell St.  Of course, I have photos to capture my day’s activities:

Best Italian Restaurant!  NOM!
Jeni’s latte.
The mister surprised me with flowers at lunch.  *swoon*
My love. <3
The mister’s spinach gnocchi.
Jeni’s pumpkin ravioli.
My panini.
Jo & Jeni’s tiramisu.
Emily’s cannoli.
The mister’s dessert.
Brendan’s lemon dessert.
A hollowed-out, frozen peach (once) filled with peach sorbetto.
Home of the most amazing chocolate macaroons on earth!
My beautiful friend, Emily.
The Dodd Squad.
Emily & I….”converse-ing”.

Thanks to my friends for making it such a great day:  The mister, Brendan, Jo, Jeni, Emily & Kristen.  Love you guys!

“I left my heart in San Francisco 
High on a hill, it calls to me. 
To be where little cable cars 
Climb halfway to the stars! 
The morning fog may chill the air 
I don’t care! 
My love waits there in San Francisco 
Above the blue and windy sea 
When I come home to you, San Francisco, 
Your golden sun will shine for me!”

no loitering.

Posted: 07.27.1111 | Author: | Filed under: Deep Thoughts | Leave a comment »

- loitering :

1.  to linger aimlessly or as if aimless in or about a place.
2.  to move in a slow, idle manner, making purposeless stops in the course of a trip, journey, errand, etc.
3.  to waste time or dawdle over work.

 

 

A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself; but the simple pass on, and are punished.
- Proverbs 27:12

 

All over the world, cities are increasing in wickedness.  It is becoming more and more evident that those who remain in them unnecessarily do so at the peril of their soul’s salvation. On every hand are the sights and sounds of evil. Everywhere are enticements to sensuality and dissipation. The tide of corruption and crime is continually swelling. Every day brings the record of violence, –abuse, murders, suicides, and crimes unnamable.It seems like more than ever, life itself is more false and artificial. The intense passion for making money. The whirl of excitement and pleasure-seeking.  The thirst for display.  The luxury and extravagance.  All these are forces that are turning the mind from life’s true purpose. They are opening the door to a thousand evils.

Before we are relieved of such perilous conditions here on earth, the Lord calls upon us to prepare ourselves and to extend help to others.

The angels of mercy hurried Lot and his wife and daughters by taking hold of their hands. Had Lot hastened as the Lord desired him to, his wife would not have become a pillar of salt. Lot had too much of a lingering spirit. Let us not be like him. The same voice that warned Lot to leave Sodom, bids us, “Come out from among them, and be ye separate, . . . and touch not the unclean.” Those who obey this warning will find a refuge. Let everyone be wide awake for themselves. Let us gird ourselves for the work. God will reveal from point to point what to do next.

Lot trod the plain with unwilling and tardy steps. He had so long associated with evil workers that he could not see his peril until his wife stood on the plain a pillar of salt forever.
We have been given a Great Commission.  We are currently in the intermission between God’s accomplishment of redemption and His return to consummate His blessings.  However, this intermission is not a time for loitering in the lobby as consumers.  This is a time for urgent action.  A time of activity.  A time of loving and serving those that we come in contact with.
In society, loitering is a crime.  Businesses post multiple signs to deter people from idly taking up space.  Once one stops to waste time there, others stop to dawdle as well.  If we do not develop a sense of urgency or a drive to work, we become spiritual loiterers.  Sooner or later, our lackadaisical spirit begins to influence others around us until there are no workers…only bystanders.Luke 6:46 says, “But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord’ and do not do the things which I say?”

Lord, let me not be just a hearer of the Word…but a doer.

you’ve got a friend in me.

Posted: 07.05.1111 | Author: | Filed under: Friends | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment »

I know most of you have been influenced by someone to read “The 5 Love Languages,” or at least to take the quiz.  I, too, have been bitten by that bug.  However, I have yet to find the “friendship love language” test.
I can honestly say that my marriage love language & my friendship love language is completely different.  In my marriage, my love languages are words of affirmation & touch.  In friendship?  Teasing.
I know that isn’t exactly the most positive expression of love, but it’s me.
Because of this quality, I have been known to recite a friendship disclaimer to newcomers.  If you haven’t heard it yet, you should be educated so as to not offend you in the future.
It usually goes something like this:

“Ok.  If we’re going to close friends, you should be aware of something.  I tend to show affection through sarcasm and teasing.  If I really meant the things I say, I wouldn’t be saying them.  Honestly, I like to avoid confrontation.  So, don’t be offended or take me seriously.  If I give you a hard time, it means I like you.  If I offend you, please tell me so I can correct it.  Deal?”

Speaking of friends, I have awesome ones.  My 4th of July weekend was amazing because of them!  My white self spent a LOT of time at the lake with my girlies.  Thank the good Lord for sunshine!  Lake time, BBQ, friends & fireworks = awesome sauce.  Here are a few of my favorite pics from this weekend.

Now, my skin is recuperating from all the sun.  The tomato face is now a nice tan.  I just need a nap and I’ll be good.I love my friends.  They’re worth the lack of sleep.

forks & mexican food.

Posted: 07.03.1111 | Author: | Filed under: Food, Humor | Leave a comment »

Mexican food is yummy goodness.

While living in Texas, I seemed to partake in it more…..but even in my experience here, there is one common factor.

I always get the fork that has apparently been mangled by the garbage disposal.

The tines are bent up and facing every way but straight. Of course, I never realize until after the first bite. It’s during this time that the roof of my mouth is assaulted and stabbed. Either that or my lips are cut by the rough edges.

What I begin to wonder is if the last person who used my fork was missing a few teeth and mangled the fork with their poor dental work. And because I have ADHD, this sends my easily distracted mind on a wild journey of the imagination. I then begin thinking that some “snaggle-toothed” person with poor dental hygiene had their mouth on the fork that just recently left mine.

It’s at this time that I begin to think of all the reasons I can to begin carrying a personal silverware set in my purse. I could market that, you know. All of these cute little carrying cases of every design with your very own personal silverware setting within. Just slip it in your purse…use it at the appropriate time, and when you’re done you can slip it into the plastic bag (for neatness), place it back in the pouch and drop it in your purse. Ta-da!

Crisis avoided.

Of course, the fork will undoubtedly get bent up while being toted in my massive purse. I’ll pull it out, use it and realize that I’m back at square one.

What a vicious cycle.

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